Fare Well- Lyn and Phen RP

Chimaerix said the following:

Pace left. Stop. Think. Pace Back. Repeat. It was difficult for Phen to sit quietly when what she was about to attempt was so unnerving. Phen resorted to sliding her incisors over each other in an attempt to calm herself down, at least enough so that she could rehearse what she was going to say one last time. ”Hello Mother Lyn, I’m sorry for my sudden intrusion, but I’m leaving Chandor forever”. Phen knew it would be easier said than done. Her sleep-deprived muscles and aching heart weren’t exactly helping her, only adding to the stirring regret she felt building inside.

The very last traces of sunlight were vanishing on one end of the star-streaked sky, and the halfmoon burned brightly. Taking a deep breath and holding the precious air in her lungs, Phen forced herself to walk towards the den entrance. She crept within view of the large crater from which wafted the familiar scent of her alpha. At this she stopped. Phen had come to cherish that familiarity, that sense of family, the security of the safe haven that had become of Chandor. Was she really about to throw that all away for her own ambitions? Not very long ago, she thought she would have to face the outside world alone with her best friend and idol, the male she chose. But no matter how long she had waited, he did not come. And maybe it was the slight shift in the air; An emptiness that only appeared when someone great had vanished from the world. She knew he would never come back.

Her usually lustrous eyes were hollow and grey as she entered the den, the dry leaves crunching under her light pawsteps. Phen was pretty sure that Lyn would have noticed her presence already one way or another, but there was only one way to go. Shakily, Phen opened her mouth and whispered, "Lyn?", into the dark void of the main den. Hearing her voice crack, she quickly cleared her throat and repeated, a bit more clearly, "Mother Lyn? Are you here?" Of course, she knew that her Alpha was present. But it was the only conversation starter she could think of. Phen's ears were drawn back and her normally upright tail dragged on the mossy floor as she waited for her reply. And she longed for it- to hear her dear friend's voice one last time.

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MatrixPotato said the following:

Peace and quiet. That was what night time entailed for the alpha. It was the one time she could just lay back and reflect on the day; she could think about her mistakes and smile about the things she was proud of without too many disturbances. Being the only alpha was a tiring job and she voiced that to her father a few times on their short, but sweet, visits. However, Lyn never saw it as a burden. She chose this and she was finally perfecting her pack. With the new changes, Chandor was picture perfect of how she planned it and she was sure the future would be bright.

She shifted slightly, causing a few leaves to shuffle beneath her. Or, wait. No, that shuffling wasn't her. She stopped for a moment, caution stemming to every feature before she inhaled. The familiar scent of a pack member had her relaxing once again and she immediately recognized it as Phen as she turned to face the entrance. Seconds later and the Cousin was asking for her. Lyn smiled, but there was something off about the way Phen spoke. And her posture; she wasn't that confident wolf like before. She was slumping, as if she were sad. Lyn's smile dimmed and she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

"Yes, I'm here."She said as she gave a nod, allowing Phen to venture deeper into the den. "What is it?" She inquired, tilting her head ever so slightly in curiosity and concern.

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Chimaerix said the following:

Hearing shuffling coming from inside the cave, Phen tried her best to recompose herself, giving her head a quick shake and trying not to look sulky. Lyn's voice was like normal- smooth and friendly, but she heard an edge of puzzlement in there as well. She was hesitant to proceed, as she'd only stepped close to the main den a few other times in order to file reports or receive orders. Still, it wouldn't be very personal if she didn't talk to her alpha face-to-face. Slowly, Phen crept into the warm nest and sat herself down. The floor of the den was littered with a few stray leaves, but underneath was a soft carpet of moss and grass. A nice contrast to the bitter winds outside. She took another shaky breath and began.

"It's cousin Phen. I'm sorry for interrupting you at this hour", she murmured, not looking at her Alpha just yet. She used her usual, professional voice, but tonight there seemed to be a small crack in the fortress. In reality, it probably wasn't all that late, but with the changing seasons came progressively shorter days. "I...". Phen couldn't get herself to break the news to her so suddenly. "I have something... important to tell you". She finally brought herself to look her alpha in the eye. "It's about me... staying in Chandor". Phen closed her eyes tightly, now ashamed that she had only now mustered the courage to tell her about her plans. Why didn't she think to warn her ahead of time? Phen wondered what was going through her Alpha's mind at that moment.

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MatrixPotato said the following:

Lyn waited patiently for Phen to enter. It seemed that she was hesitant; she usually only poked her head in anyway, so Lyn was understanding in that regard. However, a few silent moments passed and Phen finally crept into the den. Lyn was glad that she was finally beginning to feel comfortable enough to be so close to her. Most of the others had adjusted well to the transitions in ranks, but a few still lingered in the submissive always-professional attitude when she was around.

When she began to speak, Lyn was certain that something was bothering her now. "Yes." She said in acknowledgement of her greeting. "It's alright, no need to apologize." Lyn gave her a simple smile and let her continue, patiently waiting for her to get to the important part. When she did, Lyn's brows pushed together ever so slightly in concern and her smile dropped. Something important, about her staying in Chandor? That was a big red flag right there. Was it that she didn't like the new changes? That was the only rational idea she could think of at the moment. She opened her mouth to ask that very question, but then she shut it again, seeing how ashamed Phen looked.

"You...want to leave?" She tried for something simpler, hoping to prompt the answers our of Phen instead of assuming everything right off the bat.

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Chimaerix said the following:

Slowly, Phen opened her eyes, and the expression that met her was one of worry and concern. She couldn't find a response that seemed appropriate, so all she could do was nod her head silently with downcast eyes. The way she worded it made her feel terrible, and Phen shuffled around uncomfortably on the moss-covered ground. "Y-you have to understand", she managed, "that this is a very difficult decision for me to make!" She raised her voice just a little out of angst, trying to emphasize that leaving her pack would be a hard development for both of them. Trying to calm herself down a little bit, Phen thought back to what she had rehearsed earlier, and let the words come pouring out.

“I know this must come across as a surprise to you”, she sighed, ”But I can’t say the same for myself”. Suddenly Phen’s gaze seemed to harden a little, as if she had gained a bit of determination. ”Mother Lyn, you’ve always talked of how every wolf has a place to belong, and that it varies between you and me. The way you’ve built this safe haven for every wolf, where we can feel like a family... I admire you for that”. She bit her lip. Phen wasn’t used to talking in such a way, yet she pressed forward. ”But even from the moment you accepted me into Chandor, I don’t think I was meant to stay. I’m not that kind of wolf. I have goals to reach for, expectations to achieve, promises to fill...”. She looked at the wall wistfully, recalling past memories. ”And... I feel selfish... for leaving others that value me. But I couldn’t imagine myself any other way.” Losing her fervor, her voice trailed off.

”So forgive me”. Finished with her sermon, Phen dipped her head, pressing her nose into the downy moss, ready to accept any tirade or bitterness Lyn had to offer. For until she official declared herself separate from her pack, before she set paw over the border, she was still under the unquestionable leadership of her Alpha.

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MatrixPotato said the following:

As Phen began to explain, Lyn listened carefully, her expression full of concern and confusion. However, as she continued, she softened, a feeling of understanding washing over her. The words that Phen was speaking were the exact same words she had said herself at one point, to her own alpha; to her own father. A small, sad smile spread across her lips as she listened silently to Phen's speech. Once she was done, the black wolf bowed her head and the den fell silent for a few moments.

Lyn didn't want Phen to leave, to be honest. If there was a way she could persuade her to stay, she would do it. However, Lyn knew there was no persuasive argument to keep her from leaving. She knew because there was no way her father could have persuaded her to stay in Kausen. She took a deep breath and stood, closing the gap between them before gently placing a comforting paw on Phen's shoulder.

"I do understand." She said, her voice soft. The truth was, she probably understood better than anyone else in the pack what not belonging felt like. "If you have to go, then don't let us hold you back. You have your life to live, and if it's not here, then you have to find out where. But if you ever need anything just remember that you will always be family and Chandor will always be open to you."

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Chimaerix said the following:

Phen’s eyes remained closed, her field of vision entirely black from the lack of light in the den. Admittedly, she was a little afraid of her Alpha’s reaction. Her weak mind, which was especially sensitive to criticism, was at stake. Would she even allow her to leave? Perhaps Lyn’s strong sense of family here in Chandor would forbid her from quitting her new companions?

Suddenly, Phen felt a comforting paw on her shoulder, and she lifted her head a little to see Lyn’s sympathetic face staring down at her. She parted her lips to further defend her reasons for leaving, but instead, Lyn took her own words right out of her mouth. Phen blinked, listening to her Alpha’s reassuring words. It was as if she knew exactly what she was going to say. And, dare she believe, had needed to say the same exact words at some point, during a time when she was lost and unsure of herself as well? Abruptly, she found herself wondering just what kind of background her Alpha really had. Did she really know her as much as she thought? Phen picked herself up, her ashamed countenance replaced with confusion and underlying gratitude. She knew how much her Alpha's followers meant to her, and to give her so much freedom was... generous.

”You’d let me go, just like that?”, Phen murmured, obviously surprised. That was definitely less dramatic than she could ever have hoped for. ”I don’t know how to respond. Thank you for understanding me and my purpose, Lyn. I hope that my absence doesn’t affect the pack greatly”. Phen still kept her head low out of respect. Unfortunately, there were still many things to take care of before she left. ”But of course, my departure won’t be spontaneous. I must be well rested here on my last night, if you so allow me. And I must spend time with those closest to me. But I cannot say goodbye to everyone. Will you do me the favor of announcing my leave in the future, after I have gone at early dawn?” Phen knew it was a lot to ask of her Alpha, who had many tiresome tasks to take care of in the first place. ”In the meantime, I wish to hunt one last time for packmates, to repay them for their support.”

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MatrixPotato said the following:

When Phen stood, Lyn could tell that she was surprised at her words. She let her paw drop from her shoulder, and nodded at her question. Yes, she would let her go that easily. Her father had, but then again, she knew all along that he would let her go, just like he let her siblings go years before her.

"Family doesn't all have to be in the same place." Lyn said with another sad smile. Her father and her friends may be in separate places, but the love and loyalty she felt for them would never deteriorate. "It's something that a family should do, so no need to thank me. You do whatever you need to, we'll be fine." She gave the black shewolf a reassuring nod. They had survived with fewer numbers before and although she would feel sad for a long while about Phen, she knew letting her go was the right decision.

As Phen continued, Lyn was glad to hear that she wouldn't be leaving right away. She hoped she hadn't been the last Phen had come to, but rather she was the first and that made Lyn feel relieved. She had gone last to her father after preparing everything. In her mind, it was rude, because she hadn't stayed but another few hours before leaving Kausen.

"I'll tell them." Lyn said, standing now as well. "I know they'll understand. And they'll be grateful for the food." Lyn ended with a chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit. She was silent for a moment before speaking again, the sad smile stilt tracing her lips. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

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Chimaerix said the following:

Phen let out a breath of relief. ”Thank you, Lyn”, she murmured, straightening herself, a little more confident now thanks to Lyn and her intelligent words. She felt a bit sore after staying frozen in the confined spaces of the den, and although she longed to retreat into the free outdoors, she remained in the cave for a moment longer. Everything was settled now; There was no turning back. Lyn had promised to tell the whole pack about her absence tomorrow, and by that time she would have crossed the border to the northeast and would be running free again on the frosty, open terrain. She must speak one last time with her fellow emissaries, as she was closest to them. She’d also have to clean out her den..., say good luck to Tam, and perhaps give her another one of her feathers. Phen returned Lyn’s somber smile with a genuine one of her own, her lips reflecting her newly-discovered freedom. She only wished that her Alpha and her pack could have benefited as much from her decision.

As she was crawling backwards out of the den, her alpha’s last words stuck in her head. What was she even looking for? More opportunities? A chance to grow stronger, to meet new wolves, and see new places? Or perhaps it rested in a pack of her own? Phen knew it was a far-fetched idea and refrained from sharing her plans with Lyn. But she knew that it was exactly what she was aiming for. ”I know I’ll find the right place somewhere out there”, she called to her contently, eyes sparkling, and finally slipped out into the cold night. The freezing air was bitter compared to the warm den and easily seeped through her pelt, but it was also rejuvenating in some strange way. Phen could still see the ruffled silhouette of her alpha unwavering in her den. Perhaps she wasn’t truly leaving her family. Lyn and her packmates would still be here, and no matter where she traveled, she would still be close to them. ”I hope I can see you guys again in the future”, she called to her. Breathing in her alpha’s scent one last time, Phen increased her gait and fell into a steady trot, headed towards the best hunting grounds in Chandor. As childish as it sounded, she was determined to take down the biggest piece of elkflesh she could handle. This was, after all, going to be her last hunt here in these lands. Her mind was swirling with mixed emotions as she disappeared into the darkness, but above them all, there was a feeling of bliss.</b>